I don’t know how, but the running theme of the weekly writing challenge (about whether gifs are art or just silly) somehow came up over lunch with a tech wizard guy from a limited-edition London newspaper the other day. It got him agitated beyond measure. Yesterday, he sent me an owl begging to go public with his letter. Well, here it is.
I am writing to you from the tech desk at The Daily Prophet to correct the erroneous question you have asked your readers to contemplate.
“Are animated GIFs the stuff of junior highschool hijinks or, are they the political cartoons of the new millennium?”
As we all in the wizardly community know, animated GIFs used to be neither, and now they seem to be both.
Just a few years ago, it was low-level magic used to resuscitate pixels.
A GIF on the front page helped our senior readers differentiate The Daily Prophet from The Daily Telegraph or – heaven forbid – The Daily Mail. GIF was named after the Guild of Instantaneous Fotographers, incorporating wizards who failed their Magic Art exam.
GIFs had been viewed as a mere visual prompt until the Order of the Phoenix, having copied the Marxist approach to propaganda, began distributing leaflets with GIFs showing the ever-repeating images of HeWhoCannotBeNamed picking at his nose or torturing cute puppies and pussies by his ugly looking jinxes. That campaign, as you know, was very successful in the wizardly world. Perhaps, because of its success it has somehow made its way to your muggle society. I understand some of your politicians are being exposed to the same propagandistic warfare.
We feel responsible for the outcome of your dispute, because we cannot but admit that the debate on whether GIFs are a mere typographic tool or art began at the Ministry of Magic annual corporate party last year, when it was sparked by a surviving member of the Phoenix Order, encouraged by an unbecoming amount of muggle potion called gin-and-tonic. A half of the GIF (the Guild) members are currently recuperating at St. Mungo’s Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries as a direct result of this. I hope your discussion will be of a more restrained character.
We have put a spell on Hogwarts hijinks which immediately reports them back to the Guild masters if they conjure a silly GIF and place it on the muggle internet. Regrettably, as all the supervising Guild masters are currently at St. Mungo’s, we are made to understand that this silly hijinxing is proliferating unrestrained.
Please rest assured we will deal with this magic ruffianism as soon as the limited facilities of St.Mungo’s would allow. Upon the recuperation of relevant supervisors, the issue of silly GIFs will be put to rest. The Ministry plans to make sure further discussions on the value of GIFs would be impossible for the Guild members’ medical insurance will specifically exclude compensation of expenses incurred in such a debate.
The Tech Desk at The Daily Prophet.
PS The owl decided to stick with me until I get a reply from the FreshPressed. It is a wonderful creature, as portrayed by a very good friend of mine, Sabicons:
Owl feeding advice will be much appreciated.