Ban Love

Don’t get me wrong. Not love itself. Just the word.

Imagine how much more rich, specific, responsible and accountable our communication and we ourselves will become.

No more meaningless “iloveu’s” misinterpreted by the recipient into “I love you till the death do us part”.

“I like you so much that would like you to be a witness of my life for the next month or so”. Instead of “I think I kinda love you, so, perhaps, you want to stay with me for a bit”. Without “love”, we’d know where we stand with each other.

“The balance sheet of what I like about you versus what I dislike about you is heavily biased to the former” instead of “I might be in love with you”.

No more “she’s so lovely”. Lovely for whom or in what ways? We’d have to be more specific: “She’s sexy”, “She’s got a pretty face”, “She walks like a supermodel on a catwalk”, or “She cooks great pasta”. The advantages of having a precise description of “lovely” instead of this ambiguous word are enormous, plus it tells you more about the speaker than the girl he is describing.

And, certainly, no more lovely dinners. No more “it was lovely”. It was not. It was relatively tasty, and we had a good time even though you are a vegan. Straight, to the point, to the core of the problem.

This is the famous painting of love by Magritte, in which lovers are blinded by their passion. No more blindness. No more abstract deceptions, no more human drama.

04-Rene-Magritte-The-Lovers-1928 - копия

No more stupid symbolism of the kiss.

No more whispering, “my love” when kissing a girl or a boy. Be frank with yourself and your partner. “I like kissing you because it makes the expectation of sex so much more exciting”. So, instead of interpreting Klimt or Rodin’s Kisses as sophisticated symbols of love, we can finally put the matter to rest: their art was about the importance of foreplay.

Klimt, Kiss 1907


“I don’t love you anymore” will be replaced by the considerably concise “I’ve met someone who is everything you are not: romantic, passionate, attentive and doesn’t throw his things around the house”.

Banning love would serve well the popularization of mathematics. “I love you madly” will be replaced by “I like you cubed” or “I like you squared”, for milder cases.

The society will prosper in innumerable ways, if “love” is banned.

The only people to object would be obviously shrinks and novel writers who thrive on the insecurities of love. No pity for them, right?

Now, the best thing you can do is to press “Like” three times, because I know you loved this post, but no one thought of giving you the option of having a Love button!

UPDATE: My dear friend Des Fischers Seele wondered what would I do with Romeo and Juliet with “love” being banned, and offered this monologue as a challenge.

Juliet, original:

My only love sprung from my only hate!
Too early seen unknown, and known too late!
Prodigious birth of love it is to me,
That I must love a loathèd enemy.

I got William on the phone (for, obviously, it was his challenge) and he dictated me a new, loveless, lamentation by Juliet:

Juliet, new:

First time I see a man I want for life,
He turns out to be deserving bullet.
I fell for him before I thought to cool it,
And now it’s too late for senseless strife.
Ain’t it a monstrous thing, indeed inhuman
to make a teen feel middle-aged woman!

PS Thank you, the Daily Prompt for inspiration. Today’s prompt asked a simple question (If you could permanently ban a word from general usage, which one would it be? Why?) to which I am sure a just gave a most professional answer.


    1. I know a couple who never say they love each other but everyone knows they love each other in a way that makes all other couples green with envy ))

  1. Abselotely loved this so great you argued your point so well would you Ming checking out my blog and giving me a few tips I’m new to this

  2. This post can be read differently depending on one’s own attitude, I see 3 layers for now) But there is always something to think about, something to agree with and something for fun. Personally I would ban this word from time to time indeed (as well as some other cliché-like words and phrases) – to make life a bit simpler and sophisticated at the same time. I would also ban ‘UR beautiful’ – people whant to know something special about every inch of those))

  3. my mother

    never once said

    I love you



    she showed her feelings

    through her actions

    hugs, a special treat, reading a book



    sometimes you still need

    to hear it

    1. It’s a bit unexpected but the song No Strings Attached is actually about a very different approach to love:

      You don’t have to be afraid to fall in love
      And I know that you’ve hurt in the past
      But if you want it, here’s my heart
      No strings attached


  4. Ok, i believe, i see what you mean. But, how could you say this, if you banned “love”: My only love sprung from my only hate! Too early seen unknown, and known to late! Prodigious birth of love it is to me, that i must love a loathed enemy.

  5. Maybe it is interesting to say that in Greek language there are two different words to say “I love you” and “I’m in love with you”. In the first case the word is the verb “agapao” (here I write it in latin letters) meaning also friendship, tenderness, sympathy, affection, devotion (there are words for these too). But in the second case the word is “erotevmenos”, meaning I am in love like in english as weel as the act of sex.
    This is in modern, in ancient the meanings are more complicated…

    1. “I love you” versus “I want you” )
      You know, I spent two weeks learning Old Greek language – and then the teacher said he couldn’t teach me anymore because I was the only one left in the group. Pity!
      I am so happy you read my blog, for each time you comment you offer an amazing perspective grounded in your culture. THANK YOU!

  6. Hahaha, it seems that my answer on this daily prompt is contradicting with yours. But in any way, I like this post perpendicularly with my taste. 🙂

  7. L.O.V.E. Look…Observe…Verify….Enjoy. That’s another way of looking at it, without getting too emotionally involved!

  8. I DID press “like” three times, but you’ll just have to take my word for it (first time=like, second time=unlike, third time=4-letter word recently banned)

    1. That’s the metaphysical essense of the four-letter word! The end result it something only you know about. For all others it is just a single “like”. You did something INVISIBLE, that only you know about – out of the feeling that was best described earlier by the banned four-letter word! Thank you, cubed!

    1. Thank you ) I wanted to go with a very serious post about the Trinity by Rublev, but then I thought, what the heck, it’s Saturday, so let’s have some fun

  9. “It was relatively tasty and we had a good time even though you are a vegan.” hahaha! Congratulations on this witty (and painfully true) piece!

It would be grand to hear from you now!

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