I have been collecting typical questions about artists and art for some time, and here’s the second batch of my answers: often biased, sometimes rude, and always right. Think of it as an introduction to modern culture.
Picasso
Question (typical): I am told this twisted figure represents passionate beauty. I am beginning to doubt my sanity.
Answer (my): Think of passionate sex in a hall of mirrors, and your head’s wobbling side to side in ecstasy. Your eye only gets bits of images that register in your brain as a random sequence of “what an ass”, “fantastic boobs”, “I love these lips”, “she rolled her eyes”, and such…
Q (trying to dial 911 in his pocket): Are you really an art history professor?
A: …Then remove wild sex and mirrors. Pile up your remaining memories together: all those “views” that you saw in front of you and the ones reflected in the mirrors. What you get is this image.
Q: Now this maniac Picasso freaks me out!
A: You’re afraid he speaks to the maniac inside yourself, bro. By the way, there’s an agitated 911 woman talking from inside your pants’ pocket, and I never said I was a professor.
Jeff Koons
Question: Is Jeff Koons a pop or post-pop artist?
Answer: Before he hired a PR consultant he was known as Jeff Kons, a poop-artist. I am not sure he is an artist, but he is definitely a “wizard of “o’s”.
Piet Mondrian
Question: I don’t get what’s so exciting about Mondrian’s squares. They say he was a great artist. Why?
Answer: that’s why:
Q: Are you saying he was a great interior designer?
A: No, he was a mere prophet.
Sol LeWitt and minimalism
![[no title] 1971 by Sol LeWitt 1928-2007](https://artmoscow.files.wordpress.com/2015/04/p07066_10.jpg?w=366&h=370)
Answer: E=mc²
Q: ?
A: This very simple formula describes inexplicably complicated processes. For a physicist it is the highest form of physics, and even if you don’t know anything about the special theory of relativity, you still don’t doubt Einstein was a genius. Art doesn’t have to be complicated to send across a complex message. If it seems simple to you chances are there was an artistic Einstein behind it.
Q: But how do you know if a minimalist artwork is an elegant formula, and not a meaningless sequence of symbols?
A: You don’t. That’s the trick of minimalism.
If you missed Batch 1 in this series, click here.
If you missed my interview with Venus, don’t miss it.
DON’T FORGET TO ASK ME QUESTIONS OR SHARE QUESTIONS OF OTHERS WITH ME! WITHOUT YOUR HELP, MY A TO Z INTRODUCTION TO MODERN CULTURE WILL NOT BE COMPLETE
Standing Ovation, Seated 
HAAAAAA! One of my fav posts. Jeff “Goons” observation was spot on.
Thank you ) I am yet to meet his admirers…
Koons was a Pop artist but he was not my favourite , Sol Witt wasn’t the best of the Minimalists Judd and Morris I preferred Richard Hamilton stands out as my Favourite of all the English artists particularly his later works. I did like your questions and answer they made art appear more interesting
Thank you – it least I hoped to raise a smile )
https://undentedileone.wordpress.com/2015/04/16/boomstick-award/
Nomination for you !!!
Thank you, I am flattered!
OK. Good evening !
awesome art……!
Enfantin, Ludique , l’ oeuvre d’un gentil dérangé Non Conforme , comme moi même …!!!
As yourself, right )
Reblogged this on VINTAGE STUDENT.
There’s a lot of the Emperor’s clothes/no clothes to some of these artists. At least we know that Picaso could actually paint. Unfortunately, I think he sold out for the almighty dollar/peso/franc etc.
Leslie
I think Picasso was just enjoying life as much as he could )
He knew how to promote himself. Of course he was enjoying himself too.
Leslie
The best explanation about Picasso ever!!
Jeff Kons… hahahaha
Now what do you have to say about my beloved Chagall, hmmm? 😉
Chagall? If God exists, His design was to have the Old Testament written only to be painted by Chagall.
Fantastico!!! I’ve reblogged it on my blog.
Reblogged this on Un Dente di Leone.
Thank you! But don’t forget to feed me questions!
I hope i can do it, even thought my english language is very miserable.
Good afternoon.
Reblogged this on 영등포오피〈girlie〉밤전안마 and commented:
nice